book review: no stones [women redeemed from sexual addiction]

No Stones: Women Redeemed From Sexual Addiction, by Marnie C. Ferree is a book of Hope, Healing and Full-On Grace for the female struggling with sexually addictive behaviors.

Sexual Addiction is as real and common as any other addiction or condition and believe it or not, effects just as many women as it does men. Men have always been and still are more easily excused and treated for this condition then are women. Because society views woman with this condition as whores, the overwhelming shame and guilt force many to suffer in silence and secrecy for many years before seeking professional help.

As odd as it may sound, Sexual Addiction is not about sex at all. It is actually an Intimacy Disorder. A false intimacy and a false solution for legitimate needs, driven by pain and loneliness, and NOT by physical gratification.  One with this condition is basically on a desperate search for love, affection, acceptance and approval and not simply looking to engage in the act of sex as the name suggests.

The author helps her reader to identify what the problem is, how/why it came about and more importantly, how to fix it. By disclosing her own personal battle with the condition, Marnie does an exceptional job in bringing to the table as well as the altar, this ever-present and ever-growing condition while providing in-depth information, advice, encouragement and resources for those interested in overcoming this addiction.

Up until I read this book, I had no clue that those women who I once saw as whores and home-wreckers were in fact battling with a real condition that more than likely stemmed from a childhood traumatic experience through no fault of their own. Sisters who were trapped in an endless, generational, merry-go-round ride of abuse and trauma, desperately searching for a way out and more importantly for the helping hand of an understanding and supportive sister.

If you or someone you know is struggling with any type of sex/love/intimacy/relationship issue that fits the criteria of one with Sexual Addiction (see Chapter Six), there is no need to suffer in silence or secrecy any longer, Help IS here!!! And not only Help, but Grace, Forgiveness and another shot at Purity, through the Mercy & Compassion of a Loving Father and the Sacrifice of a Faithful Son.

Check out more of Evelyn’s detailed reviews of this book:

• Intro Review
• Part 1 Review
• Part 2 Review
• Part 3 Review
• Extras Review

book review: following jesus through the eye of the needle

What does it mean to follow Jesus? I mean, He was clear about what it meant to follow Him, right? Sure, He promised great reward, but He never said it would be easy. I’ve recently finished reading a great book that’s challenged me like few others. It’s called Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle: Living Fully, Loving Dangerously by Kent Annan (InterVarsity Press).

When Jesus talked about how difficult it is for the rich man to get into heaven, He pointed out that it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle. Umm… regardless of how you interpret that, it’s obvious that it isn’t a simple feat. In this book Kent talks about how easy it is here in the United States to look around and find someone who has more money than us. That means we can point our fingers at someone else and say, “he’s the rich man that Jesus was talking about.” But as soon as we look outside of the gates of our comfy little world we’ve created, one starts to realize that we are that rich man… no matter how much or little we have.

Throughout the book we hear the stories about Kent’s time living in Haiti. These memoirs are (at times) uncomfortably raw and (always) refreshingly honest. He shares hopes that are birthed in a heart to please God. He shares fears that reveal exactly how scary it can sometimes be to trust God completely in a chaotic world where we don’t have nearly as much control as we like to think we have. But more than anything else he challenges the us to get a little uncomfortable no matter where we’re at.

Kent doesn’t just write this stuff, he lives it. These stories were written (at times by candlelight) while living in circumstances that most of us would have difficulty even imagining. He gave up a comfortable life to try to identify with the people that he felt called to minister to. In the process he lived in tin shacks that hold water about as good as a typical kitchen strainer. If privacy existed at all, it was easily violated. And even bathing takes on new meaning when it’s basically done with a ladle and a bucket of rain water. Kent didn’t just write from his heart, he wrote from this hard-earned experience.

I really wanted to read this book because I’m going to Haiti soon. Written and released before the January 12th earthquake, it seems that this book was very timely as many here in our comfy churches look to get a little uncomfortable to help one of the poorest nations in the world recover from a disaster that reportedly claimed over 200,000 lives. This book has enhanced how I pray for the people of Haiti, those who are doing long-term work down there, and others like myself who are helping through short-term trips. But I’m also challenged to find opportunities to follow Jesus through the eye of the needle even right here in my own community. I thought it was a great read, and it’s definitely one that’s made it onto the short list as one of my favorite books of all time!

book review: wired for intimacy

One gets the distinct impression as they read through William Struthers’ Wired for Intimacy: How pornography hijacks the male brain that at its core it is a scientific affirmation of the old proverbs of Solomon portraying adultery and sexual sin as “the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death” (Proverbs 7:27). Struthers looks at the modern data in the scientific community and sees how intimacy in the male brain dies and is deeply corrupted due to the consumption of internet pornography.

Pornography is as old as history, that is a simple, uncontested fact. What is different in today’s society is its availability over the internet. Where as a man would have to go to a brothel or a seedy gas station to get his porn fix in days gone by, now he simply needs a computer and mouse to fulfill his desires, free of charge in many cases. This modern process of sexual sin adds a new element of further detaching human experience from the process. Who needs to feel guilty for buying the magazine when you only have your computer screen to look at now?

Struthers works through the science of the male brain and how it is designed by God to engage intimately with a woman. The process here is quite honestly mind blowing in how God has fearfully and wonderfully made us. He then works through how pornography takes impulses for sexual intimacy and rewires them, and then reinforces them by not only the proliferation and experience of pornography, but the ease of then getting more pornography. Ultimately, this castrates the male brain from being able to have normal interactions with women (since they’re viewed in light of an idealized, dehumanized woman on a screen), and even more so for marital intimacy.

The book works through the obvious subjects of defining pornography, guilt and shame, the image of God, masturbation, but most importantly, it engages these issues in light of the Gospel. Feeling trapped by their sin is the experience of men addicted to pornography, but those “who accept the gospel are then freed to be sanctified and perfected” (119) in Christ. Moreover, Struthers ends on this point:

The process of sanctification is an addiction to holiness, a compulsive fixation on Christ and an impulsive pattern of compassion, virtue and love. This is what we are wired for. This is what we are meant for. (189)

We recently discovered that we will be having a boy this fall. Our first child. I began to reflect on the life my boy will be born into, our family, our culture, and the strange aspects of our modern life. He will be born into a world absolutely obsessed with pornography, where the actors of this sinful institution are happily interviewed as members of the normal life on the daily news. And I began to grow in my gratefulness for this book. Struthers does not try to be practical (though certainly aspects of the book are), he aims to equip. The book helps me see the profound preciousness of walking in wisdom and holiness in cultivating God-saturated intimacy. Through examining the folly and sin of pornography’s effect on the male brain, Struthers upholds the value and dignity of human intimacy as designed by God. I want my boy to know this powerful gift from God. Struther’s book helps me understand the physical process of intimacy in the male brain, and how this connects with the spiritual realities (both sinful and holy) of the male experience and desire for intimacy. I pray that by God’s grace, I can raise my boy to honor and enjoy intentional design for intimacy and relationship, and sexual intimacy should God give him a wife.

I am grateful for how Struthers seeks to equip us in understanding these realities better. I highly recommend the book for pastors and counselors seeking to better understand the struggle of pornography addiction. It will help them better understand how to care for people in this snare. I recommend the book to all men in today’s society, to better understand how they were designed by God, and most likely, how to pray for grace in how they have been effected by pornography. And, I recommend the book to parents to better understand how the male brain is designed for intimacy, and how pornography hijacks this design, so that they can be more informed parents in raising their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord in the 21st century.

7 fascinating books [for your summer reading list]

Summer is a great time to catch up on your reading. And I love to read! With a few other things in my life slowing down temporarily I’m starting to work on my summer reading list.

I know that the books in this list will make me laugh, cry, think, create, and challenge me in many ways that I know I need to be challenged right now. It’s a list of books that I’m really excited about, so I thought I’d share it with you.

So take a look, let me know what you think, and share what stuff is making your reading list this summer. I’d love to hear what you plan to get into and why! And you’ll have an opportunity to get a free copy of one of these books (details at the end of this post).

Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle: Living Fully, Loving Dangerously

Author: Kent Annan

Synopsis: This book, released before the earthquake in Haiti, is about Kent’s journey to living and working with some of the poorest people in the world.

Why it’s on my list: Kent seems to be an amazing storyteller, and has an incredible story to tell. Some of the things that he’s come to realize about the message of the Bible, and his resulting experiences will inspire and challenge anyone who dares to open these pages.

Want more?: book review: following jesus through the eye of the needle
And even more?: following jesus into haiti [an interview with @kentannan]

Love Mercy: A Mother & Daughter’s Journey from the American Dream to the Kingdom of God

Author: Lisa Samson & Ty Samson

Synopsis: A mother and daughter share the story of a trip to Africa that transformed their lives forever. Fighting an AIDS epidemic in a place overwhelmed by heart-wrenching poverty forced them to change and grow in ways that they never expected.

Why it’s on my list: Everyone I know who has touched this book has walked away in tears, and with a strong desire to sell everything and move to Africa. It’s apparent that the stories and experiences shared in this book are life-changing… not just for the people who wrote it, but also for those who read it.

Against All Gods: What’s Right and Wrong About the New Atheism

Author: Phillip E. Johnson & John Mark Reynolds

Synopsis: Written by a couple of brilliant, scholarly minds this book draws the Christian (and atheist) into a real conversation where we put everything on the table. It’s not as much of an attack on the principles of the New Atheism as it is an invitation to address some real, cultural issues.

Why it’s on my list: I enjoy a book like this that deals with real issues that face the church today, and the New Atheist movement is one that has launched a full-scale attack on the church. I believe that we (Christians) should always be ready to have intelligent conversation about these types of issues.

Want more?: book review: against all gods

Exponential: How You and Your Friends Can Start a Missional Church Movement

Author: Dave Ferguson & Jon Ferguson

Synopsis: The key (as the authors of this book would propose) to the church winning the battle is that we (Christians everywhere) become more missional. This book provides a blueprint for starting a movement in the church that results in exponential growth.

Why it’s on my list: Being heavily involved in ministry in my church, I like to stay current with trends and thought happening with other church leaders. This idea of a missional church is one that’s gaining momentum, and this seems to be one of the landmark books on the subject.

Barbies at Communion: and other poems

Author: Marcus Goodyear

Synopsis: It’s hard to describe this one any differently than how it’s described on amazon.com… A collection of poems about Barbie dolls, theology, quantum physics, etc.

Why it’s on my list: I keep promising myself that I’ll get more in touch with my artistic side. So I’m picking this one up from my friend (and boss from HighCallingBlogs.com) Marcus Goodyear, because I really dig the poetry that I’ve seen from him so far.

God in the Yard: Spiritual practice for the rest of us

Author: L.L. Barkat

Synopsis: This 12-week course tells a unique story, but it will also invite you to personal growth. You’ll find various options for discovery and participation: free writing, writing response, physical and mental play, and blogging (or alternatives).

Why it’s on my list: This one comes from my other friend (and boss from HighCallingBlogs.com) L.L.Barkat. And no, I’m not trying to suck up to either of them, but I sincerely appreciate their work! I’m grabbing this one because it looks to be a promising handbook for building a deeper connection with our God.

The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living as if He Doesn’t Exist

Author: Craig Groeschel

Synopsis: In his latest book, Craig deals with this issue of the cafeteria-line Christian. The Gospel of Jesus isn’t a pick-and-choose theology, but one that asks us to fully believe in Him and Who He Is.

Why it’s on my list: Everyone I know who has looked at this book is raving over it. This seems to be one of the hottest books of the season, and for good reason. Craig is the real-deal, and his message is spot-on. I expect this book to challenge me and call me out for where I may not be fully living as Christ asks me too.

So that’s it! This is what I’ll be trying to work through this summer! Not too bad, huh?

I also want to give a shout out to a few books that were mentioned on the Facebook page when I asked what everyone is reading…

• Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers – A cool retelling of the story of the prophet Hosea.
• The Naked Gospel by Andrew Farley – Have you seen our group blogging project on this book?
• Father Fiction by Donald Miller – Gotta love Don’s storytelling skills.

What do you think of this list? What are you reading this summer? Leave a comment below, and you’ll be automatically entered for a random drawing to win a FREE copy of The Christian Atheist!

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