the truth about sex [an event with @theideacamp]

Last summer in Uganda I heard about an injustice that absolutely broke my heart for a couple of reasons. First, because of what was being done to take advantage young men and women (really boys and girls). And second, because the church was being used as the tool to make it happen.

Essentially, I was told about how sex trafficers would use the prosperity gospel in the church to lure in poverty-stricken teenagers. The promise of a better life was dangled only for the teens to later be sold into the sex trade.

But this isn’t the only sex problem facing the church today. It doesn’t take much time watching TV to pick up on the fact that sex drives much of our culture. There are also questions about how homosexuality is dealt with in the church. And divorce rates are just as high in the church as they are outside the church. The list goes on…

That’s why I’m thankful for guys like Charles Lee and his The Idea Camp events.

The next Idea Camp conference (Sept 27-28) is on the subject of sex. Check out what Charles has to say about it:

In a culture formed and broken by tainted views of human sexuality, what should followers of Christ embody?

Join us for fresh, honest and transformative conversations with leading thinkers on topics including sexual identity, orientation, abuse, gender perceptions, porn, marriage, family, prostitution, and slavery.

The issues related to human sexuality are too often misunderstood, ignored, or avoided in far too many churches. The Idea Camp will facilitate a safe and transparent environment of learning, sharing of insights from the respective fields of focus, and practical insights and examples of holistic care.

See sex for what it could be, not what we’ve made it.

I’m excited to be a part of the team that will bring this event to you. I’ll have more details soon, but we’re planning to have some pretty exciting blogger opportunities surrounding this conference that you may be able to get involved with. So stay tuned for more information on that…

Whether you serve in ministry in your church, or just have a heart to be a part of the conversation around these issues, then I would challenge you to make this conference a priority. There are fewer conversations in the church today that are more important than this.

And if you register now, you can still get the early-bird rates! It’s a great venue, and we have some great facilitators! Don’t miss it!

smashing cell phones

Okay, so at church tonight my wife and I attend a couples group while my son  and some other boys go into their Royal Rangers meeting. During tonight’s meeting in our couples group we discussed how the differences between men and women can affect our communication.

It was an interesting conversation, and we spent some time talking about how men are Wild at Heart. If you’re familiar with that term (and book), then you know exactly what I’m talking about. If not, then let me give you a quick rundown.

The basic premise is that God created men very differently than he created women. Men have this innate desire to conquer, overcome and to rescue the princess. God just hard-wired us to (typically) be more adventurous. It’s easy to see in this young boys. If you don’t let them play with toy guns, then they will find a stick and pretend that IT is a gun!

As far as our group is concerned, we tried to focus on how these types of differences affect how we understand and communicate with each other in marriage.

Then after group tonight, several of us parents went upstairs to collect our kids. I was getting my son from his Ranger Kids group when I noticed he had a broken piece of a cell phone in his hand. When I and some of the other parents were asking the Commander (Nick) what that was all about, he explained to us that it was a part of the lesson for the night…

They talked about how God’s Word is indestructible, but everything else in the world is destructible. To illustrate that point, they smashed things (including a cell phone) with a hammer! Then he let each of the kids take a piece of the broken cell phone to remember the lesson.

The boys were SO excited about what they did, and my son couldn’t stop talking about all of the things they got to smash during this lesson.

Then as we were about to leave, another one of the parents walked over with their daughter after picking her up from the group the young girls were in. When a cotton ball fell off of the young girl’s craft from the night Commander Nick picked it up and said, “we don’t play with cotton balls in here.” That comment got a few “yeahs” from the boys!

I had a good laugh with some of the other parents from our couples group that witnessed this series of events, and we just had to laugh at how the very thing that we discussed in our group was happening right before our eyes.

So what do you think about the natural differences between boys and girls? How do you think that understanding these differences can affect communication in a marriage relationship? In what ways do you nurture these differences in children?

muslim man beheads wife?

Normally when we hear about beheadings, it is at the hands of Islamic extremists in the midst of jihadic activity. They are usually making some public statement that is intended to send a political message and strike fear in their opponents. But this one is different…

A recent headline shares the story about a Muslim man who has been charged with the beheading of his own wife, and it happened here in the United States! Apparently she had filed for divorce citing “cruel and inhuman treatment” and even obtained an order of protection from her husband.

In my curiosity, I wanted to better understand if beheadings are an accepted practice in Islam, and if so then what are the guidelines surrounding this practice. What I’ve found is that that these types of killings are seem to be acceptable. However, there are guidelines behind them. Generally, this ‘punishment’ is saved only for the extreme cases during jihad, and are also targeted more towards non-Muslim infidels.

The crazy thing about this whole situation to me is that a beheading seems to be such a cruel and unusual form of killing someone. Assuming that it was the husband that did this, was his decision to behead her influenced by his Muslim faith? Did he consider her an infidel of some sort?

Granted I know that Christians are not immune from immoral behavior, and I know that there are some wackos out there that cling to a ‘Christian’ faith and say that ‘God’ told them to do some pretty horrible things. But I am wondering whether a culture that supports this type of violence against ‘infidels’ may have led to this husband’s behavior.

Christian teaching cites that one should “love even your enemy“. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus even told Peter to put away his sword. The whole of Christian teaching is not one of violence. And while there may even be some disagreement over things like capital punishment, one thing that is clear is that the punishment should never exceed the crime itself.

For me, this is an interesting difference in fundamental worldviews and perspectives on the value of human life. On one side you have a religion that teaches love and forgiveness, and on the other you have one that teaches that violent killing is acceptable (even if the basic teaching limits it to certain situations).

Please hear my heart here. I am not to trying to make the point that one side is better than the other, or even to say that one religion is right or wrong. More than anything this saddens me that one’s faith may have something in its doctrine that could influence this sort of behavior.

My hope is that Christians who read this would pray for Muslims and their marriages. Pray that they would know love in a way that is deeper than anything that they currently understand. May Muslims all around the world realize that there is a higher road that can be taken, and that even if the ‘rules’ allow such action that they would have a great respect and value for human life. I also wish to pray for peace for the friends and family members that are associated with this horrible incident. May God bless them and pour out His love on them.

 

Related articles:
in defense of christian marriage
fireproof your marriage and the love dare

in defense of christian marriage

Chalk one up for Christian values!

One of my biggest pet-peeves is the humanist/atheist perspective that says that ‘religion’ is the cause of some of the biggest problems that our world faces today. I believe that this is a gross misrepresentation of the Church, and is based on the actions of a small percentage of religious extremists that stray quite a bit from the truth that their faith teaches (regardless of the religion).

So, in defense of Christian worldview I wanted to share the results of a recent study that shows that (1) an ‘intact’ marriage and (2) religious participation results in fewer developmental problemsin school-aged children. Yup, you’ve read that right! A child that grows up in an actively Christian home where the parents are not divorced is a child that is better off.  Hooray for Christian marriage! Let me even quote directly from the report on the study…
Read more

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